laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
