Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
