We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
