Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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