she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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