Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
