party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize