Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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