Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
