Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
