I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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