it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
