I hope mine doesn't look like that
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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