all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
