dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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