OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
