Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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