i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
