Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
