hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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