I want to have your abortion
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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