I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
