There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
