Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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