Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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