remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
