He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
