OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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