dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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