she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
