How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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