omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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