Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
