Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
