It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
