I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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