well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
