I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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