you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just pee around me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
