dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize