So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
