Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
