Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
