it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
