Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
