so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
