I just threw up on my dentist
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
