Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
