bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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