Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
