the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
