This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
honey bunches of taint.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
