I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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