I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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