i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
