Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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