I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize