When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Two words: blizzard sex
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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