I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
