life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
