Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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