i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
