Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was so not down for the gang bang
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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