Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
