he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
